Toe-Confessions of a Teenage Drama-Writer

Well. Today, on my way to bed, I tripped over Alec's 60-some-inch Sephiroth sword. My eyes widened with horror and I fell forward, catching myself with extended arms. I could feel a painful throbbing, coming directly from the bone, nail, and flesh of the second toe on my right foot. Well, at the time, I guess it was a throbbing generally coming from the entire foot. Quite literally, it hurt like hell.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry so hard that my own foot would feel pity for me, and would ease up on the pain. Maybe stop hurting. But I couldn't get anything out. My throat felt like it had swelled up, and at any moment, it would close. Fear that my own throat would close on me? Scary. Gagging, I simply held my foot with agony, rolling back and forth on the ground. My body spared me a few gasps of air, which were shortly lived. Eventually my lungs were filled to the brim with these quick gasps, and was unable to exhale. Ready to explode, yet also unable to stop, while I'm fully aware my lungs are "full." Gasping over and over, while the pain kept lulling in. Glancing down at my foot, it turns out I had ripped the cubical, and a third of the nail was black and blue.

Again, I wanted to scream. The pure terror that was struck within me by the very sight! But, I didn't. I just stared at it. Alec was kneeling beside me, and ask if he could do anything... after a few silent moments, I managed the words "can you get me some ice?" He nodded, and as soon as he was upstairs, I cried hard. With all my heart, finally releasing that air I had recently gathered so desperately in my lungs. When he returned, I was silent again. I really don't think I would be scared or embarrassed to cry in front of my own brother, but maybe, just maybe... my body wouldn't allow me to cry in front of someone, if it wasn't absolutely necessary. Or maybe this is just another theory? A desperate attempt to add some deep meaning, to a truly meaningless detail or flaw in my being.

After Alec handed the ice over to me, I quickly applied it to my toe, but pain spurted throughout my entire body. It was unbearable, thus I had to take it away. My entire foot was aflame! Only once I put the ice to it did I realize the drastic difference in temperature, between the two. Also of my toe, and the difference between normal room-temperature! It was obvious that it *didn't want* ice on it, and applying the ice lightly was only teasing it. Teasing with terrible pain, but no actual result. Some higher - or lower - being's plan to foil me once again. Blast! Alec got me a tennis ball to squeeze as I pressed the ice tightly to my toe. Fight fire with fire! It was easier that time; the rougher approach was successful! So much for my mind to concentrate on, it was overwhelming. So very overwhelming, that I was too distracted to notice how much it really did hurt. Of course, as soon as I lifted the ice, the terrible after-effect kicked it. The throbbing. The burning.

It was like when you fill up your tub with hot water, or walk into a hot tub for the first time. You dip one of your feet in the water, and it's too hot. You retract your foot back to you with perhaps a bit of surprise, and you have that burning, throbbing sensation as I do now. Although what a hot tub would give would probably be a milder "version" of the pain I'm feeling now, I suppose you could say. After a few seconds, your foot would cool off, and it'd be fine. To know what I feel, try imagine the throbbing and burning. Fiercer, and... well, non-ceasing. It just continues and continues and continues. On and on. And the ice, that I KNOW I should apply (because I don't want swelling) only making the entire experience worse.

About ten to fifteen minutes later, after I've told my parents and I'm sitting in a chair with my feet raised, it still hurts. Continuing and continuing. My dad makes a comment about how he's fascinated by the nerves, and communication that goes on throughout the body, to tell the brain that a part of the body is in pain. How very many nerves must understand and tell the brain. And it's all done in less than a second! I made the comment that I wish my feet would STOP letting my brain know its in pain... I GET IT, THANKS FOR THE NEWS FLASH.

A half hour later, while I'm writing this, my feet are elevated by a chair and two beach towels. It's still throbbing and burning. Continuing and continuing, more and more. It reminds me of when I have restless legs, from not sleeping. I just accept the pain, thinking eventually it'll die down... but then it comes back, striking fiercer! Harder! Again, foiled by some superior being "watching over" me. More than likely laughing at me.


And even after I'm fully aware this sucks, a lot, I can't help but think... am I overreacting? Am I exaggerating with words? Maybe I'm just writing as I feel. Others couldn't possibly understand how it could be this bad, I guess. I can only assume...

...anyway. We think I might have broken or sprained my toe.


Ouch.