Overwhelmed

Lately I feel like I want to crawl into a hole and stay there for a couple days. Everything feels like it's coming at me so fast, I don't really know what to do with it all. Live and Learn was, in a word, amazing, but after something as extravagant and long as that I feel like I need some time to recuperate. I don't know how long it's going to take before I feel ready to put myself out into the universe again and be that social butterfly I know I am, but I know I need something of a break.

I was talking to my mom last night, and I had said to her that about a month back, I almost thought my life was boring (mostly owing to the move). We're never out and about and we're never doing things all the time like some people are, so did that mean my life was uneventful? Yes, that was my answer then. Sure, my life is boring, but I still liked it. Sometimes I wished I could be doing more things. So now we are. We went to Live and Learn. We're going to Les Miserables for my birthday. We're going to ARGH. We're going to Wicked for my mom's birthday. We're going to Williamsberg. We've only hit the tip of the iceberg with Live and Learn a little over a week ago, and my head is already spinning... I feel like so much is being crammed into the end of this year, it's almost overstuffed.

It's at times like these that I realize, my life wasn't boring. It was mellow. It was comfortable. I know I'd be bored with it if we never did anything, but doing too much, and I think that's almost worse. I can't tell if I need to toughen it out, because that's what my grandpa would say: I shouldn't pass up these experiences, because they'll never come again! I can rest later! Go, go, go! ...or if I should suck up my mellow life and just enjoy the flow. No, neither. I just need to find my balance. When to see people and when I need to crawl into my hole and watch Buffy.

I still love seeing everyone. I love talking, I love hanging out, I love making little crafts and swimming and playing Rock Band and Soul Caliber 4. And there are even some people I'd be willing to spend my down-time with, as long as it doesn't turn into a party... I guess I just have to breathe.

Maybe I'm just in a long blah mood. Maybe I'll feel better soon... I don't know. But I miss that familiar slow life that has sort of been shoved aside for the new, busy one. I guess I need to remind myself that ARGH and Williamsburg are a whole month apart... no rush...